This Floating Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Year.
Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Shady figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.
Too Much
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
